Sheila Graves Gary

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It was important to her that her family enjoyed life while enriching themselves.

Sheila Graves Gary died Thursday, Sept. 24, 2026, surrounded by family, at her home in Hayden Lake. She was 83.

Born July 7, 1943, in Annapolis Royal, Nova Scotia, Canada, she was the first of five children born to Francis W. Graves and Gertrude E. Phinney. In 1952, the family moved to California, where Sheila graduated from Pacific Grove High School in 1962.

Sheila met Dene W. Gary in San Jose, California, and the two were married Dec. 1, 1973, in Reno, Nevada. They were married for almost 30 years until Dene’s passing in 2003. The couple lived in San Jose, and later Gig Harbor, Washington, where they had two sons, Bradford Whitman in 1981, and Trenton William in 1983.

Dene’s career took the family many places. They moved to Hayden Lake in 1988, where they found a community that Sheila would nurture for the remainder of her life. They enjoyed winters skiing at Schweitzer Mountain and summers on the water at Hayden Lake. She loved spending time with Dene and her boys. It was important to her that her family enjoyed life while enriching themselves.

Those close to her always saw her with a smile on her face. Sheila built a vibrant community around an eclectic friend group, as well as efforts supporting education, the environment and civic life. She was a member of PEO Chapter AV, Vice President on the Board of Directors of the EXCEL Foundation, and was an avid volunteer and PTO chair for the Coeur d’Alene School District during the 1990s. In 1992, she was awarded the Idaho Volunteer of the Year Award by Gov. Cecil Andrus.

She was a longtime volunteer and board member of the Hayden Lake Watershed Association. Additional community support included Court-Appointed Special Advocates Baby Showers, the Idaho Humanities Council, and support for the WomensSpeak North Idaho Women’s History Dinner for many years.

Sheila was always active in Kootenai County and Idaho state politics. She was a Democratic Precinct Committeewoman for Kootenai County from the late 1980s until her death. During that time she hosted local and state candidates, spent many years door-knocking, and was active in the local Democratic Women’s Association. One of her proudest moments was serving as a delegate for President Barack Obama during the 2012 Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina. In 2022, she was awarded the Art Manley Lifetime Achievement Award by the Kootenai County Democrats for her decades of service.

Family was the utmost for Sheila. She made countless visits back to Nova Scotia, New York, Florida, California, and Washington to spend time with friends and family. An avid traveler, Sheila encouraged everyone she knew to broaden themselves by planning a trip. She enjoyed showing her family new places across the world, and visiting friends and family across the country, including many visits to her parents’ home in Palm Springs, California. She was an ever-reliable tour guide for visitors to North Idaho, and always eager to introduce family and friends to her community.

Sheila was preceded in death by Dene, her parents, and her brother Frank. She is survived by her sons, Brad and Peggy Gary in Clarkston, Washington, and Trent Gary and Alison Berge in Brooklyn, New York; two granddaughters, Ursula and Elizabeth; and four great-grandchildren, Huxley, Astryd, Juniper and Fryste. She is also survived by her sister, Linda; brothers, Steve and Gary; multiple brothers- and sisters-in-law; and a large extended family.

The family wishes to thank Dr. Hollie Mills, Kathy and Dr. Craig Wiesenhutter for ensuring Mom was never in any pain; Lynne and Dave Corbridge for always checking in on her; and all her dear friends and family, especially the mahjong girls, for their friendship, support and care over these many years.

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Companions Animal Center in Hayden, Community Action Partnership, the Idaho Conservation League, or the Hayden Lake Watershed Association.

A celebration of life is planned for 1 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 7, at the Hayden Lake Country Club. Please join us in paying tribute to a remarkable person and a life well-lived.

English Funeral Chapel has been entrusted with her care.